February 16, 2011
Our brother-in-law, Peter, died last week, after a long, hard fight against cancer. Truly, a fight, a brave and, often, exhausting fight. But, the real truth is that we didn't see the fight up close, we only heard about it. Being on the other side of the world is hard at moments like this, when we were losing Peter.
His entire family, friends, and Scarsdale community came through in support of him and his family. Daily delivery of dinners were organized. Friends taking turns driving him to and from chemotherapy treatments. So many visitors, keeping him both quiet or chatty company in the hospital, depending on what kind of contact he needed in the moment. Jen was amazing, showing me how to be both an effective advocate and incredibly devoted in his care.
And, it was a time for family to be there for him, Jen, and the kids. Lisa, Mary, Harvey, Barbara, and so many more threw themselves into helping them. And, they helped for a long time. We could do pretty much nothing to help, other than offer to listen and send our love and support. I'd try to remind myself that this wasn't about me, it was about Peter and his family, I felt very helpless, though, unable to be there in the same way as everyone else. And, unable to say goodbye to Peter.
The last time we saw him was in the photo above, in Greece, In fact, I think this picture's from his family's glorious stay at a Greek island. Peter showed me how to slow down, take care, and really savor such a special trip and time with my family. I'd be rushing around the house, after a day touristing Greece, and he'd return from his day trip, sit down, and really ask me, with such authentic interest, what our experience was like, really deep in the moment of our conversation together.
Peter, I send you a message in a bottle. You are well-loved and missed.
