Abraham’s 4th Birthday a la Malaysia

November 2, 2010

We fretted over how to celebrate Boom’s birthday, so soon after we got settled here. We were struggling over whether or not to have his friends over for a bigger celebration, than just us 5. It’s just not the same having a birthday without real family and friends celebrating it with us. Truth is, we’ve been spoiled, having celebrated all our kids’ birthdays with people who adore our kids.

In the end, it just struck a false note with us to invite his new schoolmates over for a big birthday bash, when we felt no real connection to them yet. Still, I felt like a bad mom for not hosting what felt like a real party. In fact, I woke up early on the day of his birthday racked by guilt. Now, I know, I was mostly feeling the homesickness of missing my family and friends who would have showered love on Boom on his birthday.

So, like any good American, I dealt with my guilt by buying lots of toys for him. Toys that were completely unnecessary and you could just see by looking at them that they’d fall apart in days. I bought his love on his birthday.

Turns out that I was not alone in being concerned about Abraham having his birthday far away from close friends and family. All grandparents and Uncle Pappy made sure he got their gifts in time for his birthday. Then, on his birthday we opened an email from Tina, Bruce, and kids with a heartwarming video of them singing Happy Birthday to Abraham. And, then we got an email from his godmom Alexis with another song, with she, Mike, Aidan, and Liam singing Happy Birthday to Boom. She also attached a series of photos which she took of letters in NYC that all laid out spelled: “Happy Birthday Bram” including subway letters and more. And, then, she put in the slideshow pictures of Bram and her kids in addition to NYC landmarks near her upper west side apartment. Seth, Boom’s godfather, sent so many gifts that we lost count.

We knew his birthday was “light” on celebration so we went all out with our at-home celebration. Alice decorated like a banshee, with pictures of Boom up on the walls and signs saying “We all love Boom!” And he woke to his choice of breakfast in bed – a cheese sandwich.

Ken made lemon cupcakes with Boom and took them to his school on his birthday. His teacher doesn’t have a natural enthusiasm for exciting events with a bunch of 3 year olds, so it was probably the most subdued birthday at school Ken’s seen. Even the much-hyped ISKL School Birthday Bear was just plopped next to Boom, with no fanfare. Still, Boom seemed proud.

I ran home after teaching my 150 person class. Ken and I took Boom out for some special Mommy Daddy time. And, we told him, “Aren’t you lucky to have Mommy Daddy alone time?” He said, “I want my drum!” He knew what his birthday was really about this year – shop til you drop! We went to Toys r Us and just couldn’t say no. Over and over again. People behind us in line stared at all the bags of toys we walked away with.

Then we got him ice cream and took him for a short, sweltering play in the playground, topped by a rollicking Daddy ride on the pretend playground bus. He returned home to play with his new toys and go to dinner to get his requested pizza. It may have been the only bad meal we’ve ever gotten in Malaysia, and no surprise, it was American food. They refused to make a plain version of their fancy pizzas and Boom ended up refusing to eat his burger.

By then, my Mom guilt had reached its max. Thank god we returned home to Nanny and Papa skyping us, with them holding a brownie a la mode with a candle on it, singing Happy Birthday to Boom along with us, pretending to blow out his candle on his cupcake. Boom was delighted.